His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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