If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
