you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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