Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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