i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
