But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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