Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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