God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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