Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
