Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
