Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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