omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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