So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
