Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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