alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
