Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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