only if we run a train.
done.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
