hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
