I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
