I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
