dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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