I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
