When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
