Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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