God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize