I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
