I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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