hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
