i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
