Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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