hotel room ftw
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
