Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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