Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I didn't notice because vodka
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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