bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
