is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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