Where is the hickey?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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