Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
