Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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