So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Watching her eat just hurts me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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