Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
