That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
