Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize