But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
