god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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