If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All I want is dick and wine.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
