My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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