I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
