If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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