Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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