I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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