what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i think i have two assholes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
