I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dick very happy bro
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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