Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
