Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
