He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
