I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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