Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
