Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
