I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
