ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
