Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
