You're my little dorito
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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