so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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