If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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