Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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