so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
