so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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