is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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