whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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