Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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