There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
