Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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