it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
