You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
