i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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