In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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