i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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