I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And my parents said I crawled through the house
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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