Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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