I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
