it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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