every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
