I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dick very happy bro
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
